I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
