Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
