Buhtt sex?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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