I want to have your abortion
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
