so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
