We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i now understand why vodka
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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