too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
