I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
