dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
