on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
