Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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