I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can't talk, ducks in the car
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
