I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
