When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
