He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
