this just has baby written all over it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
