So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
