Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
