hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize