Plan B is the new Plan A
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
