420 ftw
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
