# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
