Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
