I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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