i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
