If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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