If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
