I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
