I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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