That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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