you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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