Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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