well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
