There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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