Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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