Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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