I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
