I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
