hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
