My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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