bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
