maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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