with your own penis?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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