Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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