sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
