ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
