with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
