quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
