I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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