I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
