you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
