wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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