i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
