You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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