i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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