you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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