tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize