they need to just BURY HIM!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
