He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
