I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
