Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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