Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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