woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
